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  Self-Esteem

While many symptoms of sexual dysfunction have a physical cause, even more have a psychological one. Throughout Dr. Dauw’s extensive practice, he has found a leading cause of sexual problems to be a profound lack of self-esteem.

Which prompts the question—How’s your self-esteem? You can check your current esteem index by filling out and scoring the questionnaire on a piece of paper. Don’t worry about your score. Your self-esteem is what it is. And it can be improved.


Self-Esteem Evaluation
Score 0 if not true; 1 if somewhat true; 2 if largely true; 3 if true.

            1.  I usually feel inferior to others.
            2.  I normally feel warm and happy about myself.
            3.  I often feel inadequate to handle new situations
            4.  I usually feel warm and friendly toward all I contact.
            5.  I habitually condemn myself for my mistakes and shortcomings.
            6.  I am free of shame, blame, guilt and remorse.
            7.  I have a driving need to prove my worth and excellence.
            8.  I have great enjoyment and zest for living.
            9.  I am much concerned about what people think and say of me.
           10.  I can let others be "wrong" without attempting to correct them.
           11.  I have an intense need for recognition and approval.
           12.  I am usually free of emotional turmoil, conflict and frustration.
           13.  Losing generally causes me to feel resentful and "less than."
           14.  I usually anticipate new endeavors with quiet confidence.
           15.  I am prone to condemn others and often wish them punished.
           16.  I normally do my own thinking and make my own decisions.
           17.  I often defer to others on account of their ability, wealth or prestige.
           18.  I willingly take responsibility for the consequences of my actions.
           19.  I am inclined to exaggerate and lie to maintain a desired image.
           20.  I am free to give precedence to my own needs and desires.
           21.  I tend to belittle my own talents, possessions and achievements.
           22.  I normally speak up for my own opinions and convictions.
           23.  I habitually deny, alibi, justify or rationalize my mistakes and defeats.
           24.  I am usually poised and comfortable among strangers.
           25.  I am very often critical and belittling of others.
           26.  I am free to express love, anger, hostility, resentment, joy, etc.
           27.  I feel very vulnerable to others’ opinions, comments and attitudes.
           28.  I rarely experience jealously, envy or suspicion.
           29.  I am a professional people pleaser.
           30.  I am not prejudiced toward racial ethnic or religious groups.
           31.  I am fearful of exposing my "real self."
           32.  I am normally friendly, considerate and generous with others.
           33.  I often blame others for my handicaps, problems and mistakes.
           34.  I rarely feel uncomfortable, lonely and isolated when alone.
           35.  I am a compulsive "perfectionist."
           36.  I accept compliments and gifts without embarrassment or obligation.
           37.  I am often compulsive about eating, smoking, talking or drinking.
           38.  I am appreciative of others’ achievements and ideas.
           39.  I often shun new endeavors because of fears of mistakes or failure.
           40.  I make and keep friends without exerting myself.
           41.  I am often embarrassed by the actions of my family or friends.
           42.  I readily admit my mistakes, shortcomings or defeats.
           43.  I experience a strong need to defend my acts, opinions and beliefs.
           44.  I take disagreement and refusal without feeling "put down" or rejected.
           45.  I have an intense need for confirmation and agreement.
           46.  I am eagerly open to new ideas and proposals.
           47.  I customarily judge my self-worth by personal comparison with others.
           48.  I am free to think any thoughts that come into my mind.
           49.  I frequently boast about myself, my possessions and achievements.
           50.  I accept my own authority and do as I, myself, see fit.

          

 =
Self-Esteem Index (SEI)

To obtain your Self-Esteem Index, add the individual scores of all even numbered statements. From this total subtract the sum of the individual scores of all odd numbered statements. The net score is your current Self-Esteem Index or SEI. The range is from -75 to +75. Experience shows that any net score under +65 is handicapping; a score of 35 or less is seriously handicapping; and a zero or minus score indicates a truly crippling lack of self-esteem.

© 1973 by Lilburn S. Barksdale, The Barksdale Foundation for Furtherance of Human Understanding, P.O. Box 187, Idyllwild, California 92349.


"There is much truth in the old saying that the most important sex organ in your body is your brain. And what’s also true is that if your brain is constantly thinking negative thoughts about you, your sex life is bound to suffer."